The little stumbling blocks for failing to commit: Who causes it all?

Have you ever fallen in love? For what reason did you decide to do so? What was your optimal point of excitement? What was your greatest fear? I’ve in the past heard it said that, “I’d rather fall from a tree and break my back than fall in love and break the heart.” This might be the motive why most of the young people fear to commit themselves in a lasting relationship.
Although, love is known or said to be the strongest element that can break any desire to smithereens, most young people are always reluctant to make a permanent love commitment for fear of making mistakes. Such mistakes more often evolve into heartbreaks they don’t wish to harbour frequently. And just to show you how disastrous heartbreaks can be, show me someone who is heart broken and I will show you someone who is emotionally dead.
Many young men complain of this new generation of over-nagging femme fatales. In the face of cut throat competition for beauty and bid to create an impression, our dear lovely sisters always seem to forget that some of us are their broke brothers and can’t afford to make up to their abysmal demands. To mention but a few: make-up, bling bling, latest phone, airtime, chips, chicken and more chicken etc. Since a brother can’t deliver all these, the sugar daddy bug bites the sister. No choice? No commitment.
Perhaps, to balance the eco-relationship, the brother also decides to advertise for a sugar mummy who’s ready to provide for his financial needs in return for passion. Some might opt for the twilight zones. The end justifies the means: attachment of value to short term relationships. The young people indulge in such relationships with the aim to quell their passions. Their intentions are geared towards a sudden flight to genital experience. That’s all that seem to matter to them.
I have some friends who value short term relationships. They call them ‘friendlies’. One such guy is ever requesting for ‘friendly’ matches, be it at home or away as long as the cockerel returns home to sleep. He has had so many ‘friendlies’ and has inspired a few others to follow suit. They can’t just commit to one and only relationship that might bear value to them.
The players’ syndrome seems to have taken a notch in the minds of many guys. Most of such guys are out to hit and delete. It’s no longer hit and run. It does not matter whom they hit. Be it a stranger or an acquaintance. Be it a slut or a virgin. Their prospect of a one night stand will not make them commit. They will hit and delete today. Tomorrow they meet as total strangers.
This never bothers them at all until they realise they’ll never make do with a single partner. Most of them will still be bachelors and spinsters in their late thirties or forties. Since they’ve bonded their souls with multiple sexual partners, they’ll never seem satisfied with one partner.
The prospect of education and more education will earn them a place in the ‘non-commitment club’. Many young people have opted to bury their heads in education. They seem to have lost sight of their social-cultural obligations, especially one that pertains to family life. This is personal choice. I have no objection to it after all, democracy is still a sweet sounding word.
Freelance commitments have not spared most others yet. But, is this especially common with our sisters? She will have a boyfriend(s) whom she keeps. On the other hand (in secrecy), she entertains a working class guy with whom she has a freelance indulgence. She can’t risk losing her boyfriend, for her future’s sake. She can’t risk losing her working guy for her financial demand’s sake. This double playing is as dangerous as a double edged sword. Breaking two hearts at the same time equals tantalising two sound minds. And a mind that thinks not right is dangerous to its owner.
Is it worth it? In the face of HIV/AIDS and still playing dangerous cards with our lives. Potential freelance partners are many, many say. But what is beneath many of them might scare your blood to freeze if you cared to know. If you care to live, don't fear to commit. The earlier generations have done so and have come a long way. Commitment, love, trust, faithfulness and knowledge are better remedies to the crises of our generations.

Joshua Masinde

Laziness, I Scorn Thee

Taking important things for granted is a sign of laziness. Assumption on serious issues is a show of laziness. Procrastination too, passes for laziness.

I have experience that many lecturers wish their students to pass. Some of them will try to make things easy to pave way for possible success of most of their students. They will come to the lecture room and bore you (sic) with their lectures. But, they know where the recipe of the tests and exams will originate from. Often times, they will give you an assignment. It is up to you to do it or leave it. They don't explicitly tell whether it is gradable or not. Some will but you will not care much.

"Do your part," they will tell you severally. "Do your research." And, for your information, some will allege that it is a crime for lecturers to give notes. Their work is to give you tips. Whether or not you like it, they will drag you into reading what they want you to read. If you don’t, that is part of the chronic laziness that yields half baked graduates. They will give you a test and tell you to watch out.

"I will recycle some of the questions in the end of semester exam," one will say on one or two occasions. It is up to you to take it or leave it. Leave it to the credit of your laziness. Take for granted the various research topics (s)he has asked you to undertake. This is just a honey pot of success. But, you will not put these bona fide tips in mind They will give you a coursework. If you fail en masse, one or two consider a make up for you.

"Fail it at your own risk... Blame yourself if you get a retake," one of them confided in us in one of his lectures.

"If you get a retake and it happens that you are in my class next academic year, you will have a hard time. I want all of you to pass."

You take his talk for granted. You procrastinate the research work and assignment (s)he gave you. You assume you will pass since (s)he has already tipped you on the possible areas of examination. This is a time to relax. You wait to concentrate and read during the last two weeks prior to the exam. Come that time, you have forgotten everything you thought was useful for your success story. Fellow course mates have come up with their version of possible questions and exam areas.

When the day of reckoning finally comes, you open the examination paper. The first question is an exact replica of the coursework he gave you. And, it is worth 40 marks. You try hard to remember his tips but? But, a frown takes charge of your forehead. Ripples of blood(sic) ensue on your brow. You set onto writing nothing vital on the blank page. Whom do you blame?

"Laziness, I condemn thee."

Joshua Masinde

Campus Law Of Common Sense

There is a natural law here in campus. The law executes itself without the need for a custodian. This law is embedded in the mind and works in alliance with the law of conscience. This is the law of common sense. Some of the most conspicuous signs one could encounter while moving around campus was, 'Use Your Common Sense. Do Not Litre.' This law is applicable in other numerous situations. There are times when it needs reminding that one should use ones common sense. But on various other occasions, this law will come into play intrinsically.

One of the commonest scenes you will come across in high school is outright display of ruthlessness, whenever the situation calls for it. One area which is always haunted by incivility (common nonsense) is the Dining Hall. Leave alone the play ground on sports days when rival teams are playing. An excuse can always be availed at the display of hooliganism whenever the hosts attack the rival team after losing in a match.

In the DH, this cannot be easily excused. This is the area where the concept of survival for the fittest suits when a student in the senior class endeavours to get a lion's share of the meal at the earliest opportunity. He always has room to come for a second share before a form one misses food, right when he is getting the second or third share.

The cafeteria system is merely a hissing snake that does not poison. It dos not favourably apply in the wake of the senior students, who under the scapegoat of a lot of work, and exams around the corner, will jump queue. Nonetheless, this applies suitably in campus. It is absurd and rather weird to notice a mature student, with enough beards to earn maximum respect, jump over tables to get to the serving table before the rest. This is despite his coming to the mess thirty minutes before the rest. The law of first come first serve does apply here.

In circumstances of feuds, the high scholars will most likely arbitrate issues with the exchange of blows. However, this would not end there. Revenge would always be reserved for another day.

It looks funny for campus students to engage in a brawl in the wake of an argument. However much one is annoyed, you can't easily expect a fight to ensue. There will always be talks of, "You are a grown up... We are intellectuals... You should behave like one... We should behave like diplomats." They create intellectual scenes of brains at fight. Whoever wins becomes a celeb for a few seconds. The law of common sense strongly condemns fighting. Even the ones who do not wholly trust this law will be reluctant to engage in a fight. It is not a question of muscular might determines right.

If anyone engaged in a fight, they would be assured of losing their place at the university. It is just unsafe to fight within campus gates. Perhaps, this can be tolerated in the pubs! But be warned. The law will always be on your neck.

Joshua Masinde