I witnessed the case of the fall out between a boda boda man with his wife, who had stayed out of the home for three days without permission. She had not even bothered to go back home and breast-feed their one-year-old toddler. This prompted the man to put his walk of life aside so he could take care of the toddler and his seven-year-old son.
When his wife went back home, he told her to return where she had been to.
“I’ve come to breast-feed my baby,” the woman said. She was not even bothered by her husband’s seriousness.
“After three days?” Untold dismay could be read on the man’s face. “After three days; then you remember to come and breast-feed your baby? Return to wherever place you’ve come from.”
The woman, determined not to yield to her husband’s threats went into the house to pick up the wailing baby. The irate husband pursued her to the house to teach her a lesson. All of a sudden, there came out the woman’s shrill cry. Some struggles ensued. After some time, the woman sped out of the house while holding the baby tightly in her bosom. The two were weeping loudly.
Their ten-year-old son, who had just come from school, arrived in time to witness the on-going curfew between his father and mother.
“Bring the child and return where you came from,” the man hollered insistently as he drew towards her in haste. He caught her and punched her in the face. Succeeding punches landed on the little toddler whom the woman had resolved to use as her shield.
“How can you stay out for three days without my knowledge unless you don’t want to care for the children? Unless you are a slut!” the man continued exuding his venom. He landed a grip on the toddler and snatched her from the mother. But for the mother’s speedy kneeling, the toddler could have landed head-on to the ground. The man held the toddler by the arm while with his other hand, continued administering his justice on the woman.
A few on lookers urged the woman to run for her life. She did. She took hold of their ten-year-old son and sought for refuge from her fuming husband. Thick blood oozed from her badly fractured nose. Her ten-year-old boy had joined her in the wailing.
“Let me never see you in this house again,” the boda boda fellow kept on thundering as he held the toddler in his arms. “As for this child, forget. I will breast feed her.”
I glared at the man and his critically wounded wife and pitied them. In fact, I pitied the two kids so much for the terror that had been inflicted in their tender innocent hearts and minds. The mere fall out between their parents the two kids from each other. And, since the boda boda man kept on proclaiming that he would bring in another woman in his wife’s place, the more serious trauma lay in their children. More so, I was greatly concerned about the fate of the toddler.
The two kids are the ones who shoulder immense suffering, both physically and psychologically. Young as they are, they are not mentally prepared to host such shame, bitterness, violence and trauma that results from their parents’ fall out. This engenders untold suffering to them. They end up thinking everybody in the world hates them; hence they reserve and resign into themselves.
Apart from being subject to the violence and horrific scenes of the tussle between their parents, such children countenance stigma and abuse from other children within their social spectrum. In schools, they become the favourite talk of other children: “Your father beat your mother and dumped her… You do not have a father or a mother… and the like.” They fall prey to such abuse that should otherwise have been eschewed.
This relegates them to self-rejection, stress and trauma. Sometimes, when the going becomes unbearable, they mete out violence on the offenders in a bid to silence them. The situation, more often that not, aggravates. In the long run, the child’s academic performance faces a bottleneck.
Why should this happen? Why do parents of such calibre resort to act on impulse? Fighting is never always the problem-arbiter. In any case the parents should attach immediate resolve to dialogue rather than irrational action through fist throwing and exchange of abuses. There’s more to dialogue than meets the eye. Sensitive domestic issues, which need not spill to the public ear end up being solved amicably where dialogue is initiated.
Most of the problems that we witness nowadays like family break-ups would be rare phenomena. My advice to such parents is, think before you leap. If you must leap, do it rationally in case you want to save the future life of your children. Otherwise, what’s the use of destroying the future life of your kids? Please, let’s save the kids for a healthy future.
When his wife went back home, he told her to return where she had been to.
“I’ve come to breast-feed my baby,” the woman said. She was not even bothered by her husband’s seriousness.
“After three days?” Untold dismay could be read on the man’s face. “After three days; then you remember to come and breast-feed your baby? Return to wherever place you’ve come from.”
The woman, determined not to yield to her husband’s threats went into the house to pick up the wailing baby. The irate husband pursued her to the house to teach her a lesson. All of a sudden, there came out the woman’s shrill cry. Some struggles ensued. After some time, the woman sped out of the house while holding the baby tightly in her bosom. The two were weeping loudly.
Their ten-year-old son, who had just come from school, arrived in time to witness the on-going curfew between his father and mother.
“Bring the child and return where you came from,” the man hollered insistently as he drew towards her in haste. He caught her and punched her in the face. Succeeding punches landed on the little toddler whom the woman had resolved to use as her shield.
“How can you stay out for three days without my knowledge unless you don’t want to care for the children? Unless you are a slut!” the man continued exuding his venom. He landed a grip on the toddler and snatched her from the mother. But for the mother’s speedy kneeling, the toddler could have landed head-on to the ground. The man held the toddler by the arm while with his other hand, continued administering his justice on the woman.
A few on lookers urged the woman to run for her life. She did. She took hold of their ten-year-old son and sought for refuge from her fuming husband. Thick blood oozed from her badly fractured nose. Her ten-year-old boy had joined her in the wailing.
“Let me never see you in this house again,” the boda boda fellow kept on thundering as he held the toddler in his arms. “As for this child, forget. I will breast feed her.”
I glared at the man and his critically wounded wife and pitied them. In fact, I pitied the two kids so much for the terror that had been inflicted in their tender innocent hearts and minds. The mere fall out between their parents the two kids from each other. And, since the boda boda man kept on proclaiming that he would bring in another woman in his wife’s place, the more serious trauma lay in their children. More so, I was greatly concerned about the fate of the toddler.
The two kids are the ones who shoulder immense suffering, both physically and psychologically. Young as they are, they are not mentally prepared to host such shame, bitterness, violence and trauma that results from their parents’ fall out. This engenders untold suffering to them. They end up thinking everybody in the world hates them; hence they reserve and resign into themselves.
Apart from being subject to the violence and horrific scenes of the tussle between their parents, such children countenance stigma and abuse from other children within their social spectrum. In schools, they become the favourite talk of other children: “Your father beat your mother and dumped her… You do not have a father or a mother… and the like.” They fall prey to such abuse that should otherwise have been eschewed.
This relegates them to self-rejection, stress and trauma. Sometimes, when the going becomes unbearable, they mete out violence on the offenders in a bid to silence them. The situation, more often that not, aggravates. In the long run, the child’s academic performance faces a bottleneck.
Why should this happen? Why do parents of such calibre resort to act on impulse? Fighting is never always the problem-arbiter. In any case the parents should attach immediate resolve to dialogue rather than irrational action through fist throwing and exchange of abuses. There’s more to dialogue than meets the eye. Sensitive domestic issues, which need not spill to the public ear end up being solved amicably where dialogue is initiated.
Most of the problems that we witness nowadays like family break-ups would be rare phenomena. My advice to such parents is, think before you leap. If you must leap, do it rationally in case you want to save the future life of your children. Otherwise, what’s the use of destroying the future life of your kids? Please, let’s save the kids for a healthy future.
Joshua Masinde
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