Have you ever fallen in love? For what reason did you decide to do so? What was your optimal point of excitement? What was your greatest fear? I’ve in the past heard it said that, “I’d rather fall from a tree and break my back than fall in love and break the heart.” This might be the motive why most of the young people fear to commit themselves in a lasting relationship.
Although, love is known or said to be the strongest element that can break any desire to smithereens, most young people are always reluctant to make a permanent love commitment for fear of making mistakes. Such mistakes more often evolve into heartbreaks they don’t wish to harbour frequently. And just to show you how disastrous heartbreaks can be, show me someone who is heart broken and I will show you someone who is emotionally dead.
Many young men complain of this new generation of over-nagging femme fatales. In the face of cut throat competition for beauty and bid to create an impression, our dear lovely sisters always seem to forget that some of us are their broke brothers and can’t afford to make up to their abysmal demands. To mention but a few: make-up, bling bling, latest phone, airtime, chips, chicken and more chicken etc. Since a brother can’t deliver all these, the sugar daddy bug bites the sister. No choice? No commitment.
Perhaps, to balance the eco-relationship, the brother also decides to advertise for a sugar mummy who’s ready to provide for his financial needs in return for passion. Some might opt for the twilight zones. The end justifies the means: attachment of value to short term relationships. The young people indulge in such relationships with the aim to quell their passions. Their intentions are geared towards a sudden flight to genital experience. That’s all that seem to matter to them.
I have some friends who value short term relationships. They call them ‘friendlies’. One such guy is ever requesting for ‘friendly’ matches, be it at home or away as long as the cockerel returns home to sleep. He has had so many ‘friendlies’ and has inspired a few others to follow suit. They can’t just commit to one and only relationship that might bear value to them.
The players’ syndrome seems to have taken a notch in the minds of many guys. Most of such guys are out to hit and delete. It’s no longer hit and run. It does not matter whom they hit. Be it a stranger or an acquaintance. Be it a slut or a virgin. Their prospect of a one night stand will not make them commit. They will hit and delete today. Tomorrow they meet as total strangers.
This never bothers them at all until they realise they’ll never make do with a single partner. Most of them will still be bachelors and spinsters in their late thirties or forties. Since they’ve bonded their souls with multiple sexual partners, they’ll never seem satisfied with one partner.
The prospect of education and more education will earn them a place in the ‘non-commitment club’. Many young people have opted to bury their heads in education. They seem to have lost sight of their social-cultural obligations, especially one that pertains to family life. This is personal choice. I have no objection to it after all, democracy is still a sweet sounding word.
Freelance commitments have not spared most others yet. But, is this especially common with our sisters? She will have a boyfriend(s) whom she keeps. On the other hand (in secrecy), she entertains a working class guy with whom she has a freelance indulgence. She can’t risk losing her boyfriend, for her future’s sake. She can’t risk losing her working guy for her financial demand’s sake. This double playing is as dangerous as a double edged sword. Breaking two hearts at the same time equals tantalising two sound minds. And a mind that thinks not right is dangerous to its owner.
Is it worth it? In the face of HIV/AIDS and still playing dangerous cards with our lives. Potential freelance partners are many, many say. But what is beneath many of them might scare your blood to freeze if you cared to know. If you care to live, don't fear to commit. The earlier generations have done so and have come a long way. Commitment, love, trust, faithfulness and knowledge are better remedies to the crises of our generations.
Although, love is known or said to be the strongest element that can break any desire to smithereens, most young people are always reluctant to make a permanent love commitment for fear of making mistakes. Such mistakes more often evolve into heartbreaks they don’t wish to harbour frequently. And just to show you how disastrous heartbreaks can be, show me someone who is heart broken and I will show you someone who is emotionally dead.
Many young men complain of this new generation of over-nagging femme fatales. In the face of cut throat competition for beauty and bid to create an impression, our dear lovely sisters always seem to forget that some of us are their broke brothers and can’t afford to make up to their abysmal demands. To mention but a few: make-up, bling bling, latest phone, airtime, chips, chicken and more chicken etc. Since a brother can’t deliver all these, the sugar daddy bug bites the sister. No choice? No commitment.
Perhaps, to balance the eco-relationship, the brother also decides to advertise for a sugar mummy who’s ready to provide for his financial needs in return for passion. Some might opt for the twilight zones. The end justifies the means: attachment of value to short term relationships. The young people indulge in such relationships with the aim to quell their passions. Their intentions are geared towards a sudden flight to genital experience. That’s all that seem to matter to them.
I have some friends who value short term relationships. They call them ‘friendlies’. One such guy is ever requesting for ‘friendly’ matches, be it at home or away as long as the cockerel returns home to sleep. He has had so many ‘friendlies’ and has inspired a few others to follow suit. They can’t just commit to one and only relationship that might bear value to them.
The players’ syndrome seems to have taken a notch in the minds of many guys. Most of such guys are out to hit and delete. It’s no longer hit and run. It does not matter whom they hit. Be it a stranger or an acquaintance. Be it a slut or a virgin. Their prospect of a one night stand will not make them commit. They will hit and delete today. Tomorrow they meet as total strangers.
This never bothers them at all until they realise they’ll never make do with a single partner. Most of them will still be bachelors and spinsters in their late thirties or forties. Since they’ve bonded their souls with multiple sexual partners, they’ll never seem satisfied with one partner.
The prospect of education and more education will earn them a place in the ‘non-commitment club’. Many young people have opted to bury their heads in education. They seem to have lost sight of their social-cultural obligations, especially one that pertains to family life. This is personal choice. I have no objection to it after all, democracy is still a sweet sounding word.
Freelance commitments have not spared most others yet. But, is this especially common with our sisters? She will have a boyfriend(s) whom she keeps. On the other hand (in secrecy), she entertains a working class guy with whom she has a freelance indulgence. She can’t risk losing her boyfriend, for her future’s sake. She can’t risk losing her working guy for her financial demand’s sake. This double playing is as dangerous as a double edged sword. Breaking two hearts at the same time equals tantalising two sound minds. And a mind that thinks not right is dangerous to its owner.
Is it worth it? In the face of HIV/AIDS and still playing dangerous cards with our lives. Potential freelance partners are many, many say. But what is beneath many of them might scare your blood to freeze if you cared to know. If you care to live, don't fear to commit. The earlier generations have done so and have come a long way. Commitment, love, trust, faithfulness and knowledge are better remedies to the crises of our generations.
Joshua Masinde
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